New Blog!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a new blog, it's here. This one is retired. K Bye.

Quick Update

Noah is growing so fast! I feel like he grew 2 inches last night! He's also growing in other ways as well, he can count to 5 all by himself! Alex called me outside on Tuesday night when Noah started counting his toys. It was very exciting, and I got video.... on my new camera! I finally cracked and bought a new camera Monday. My (now) old camera hasn't had a flash for at least 3 months. I've been snapping away like crazy, and will post a plethera of pictures after I upload them tomorrow.

For now, I'm going to snuggle up next to Alex and watch NCIS on DVR. <3

Today, today... what a day.

Before I begin, here's a picture of Boyzilla, mocking my laughter. =)




And one of him drinking water at Islands





Aaarrrggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sip, sip* Ahhh. wine = better

Today I had a little meltdown. Work is beyond stressful, and I'll spare you the boring details. I had a little panic attack, complete with tears, hyperventilating and then some wheezing to top it off. Ten minutes and 3 inhaler puffs later.... I was back to normal, but not before totally stressing my mom out. Misery, it seems, does in fact love company.


I got home late, a little after 6, and proceeded to turn dinner into a complete disaster. Yay me! Alex still ate it, even though I offered to make him something edible.

Noah peed on the floor, potty training is getting off to a slow start. I was hoping that maybe he wouldn't enjoy making a mess with his bodily fluids... I was sorely mistaken. He did, however, put himself to bed. =)

I decided that instead of throwing myself a pity party, I would reflect on all the things I'm thankful for.... because in the grand scheme of things, life really isn't all that bad.

I'm thankful for two buck chuck, of which I always have at least one bottle sitting in my kitchen.

I'm also thankful that beacuse my husband is such a wino, he taught me how to uncork a bottle when I was 20.... God bless him.

I'm thankful that Alex just walked in the door with frozen fruit bars from Trader Joe's... he really does love me.

I'm thankful that I still have a job in this crazy economy.

I'm thankful for the 2 year old wildebeest that is currently sleeping.

I'm thankful for the snot soaked kissed that same wildebeest planted on me when I got home.

I'm thankful that my mom is alive and well, and that all that remains of her stroke is a 5 inch scar.

I'm thankful for 4 years of wedded bliss. (translation: I'm thankful that Alex still puts up with me.)

I'm thankful that I still feel like a lovestruck 15 year old when Alex kisses me.

I'm thankful that God has a sense of humor, and that He reminds me, every day, to take a step back and laugh at the craziness.

May Melee

Where in the world do I start?! May has been, well, a crappy month. These last two weeks have been especially crappy. Last weekend I was horribly sick with food poisoning, and just when I get over that, I'm struck with this mysterious back pain. I woke up Thursday with horrible back pain than I can only compare to the back labor I felt with Noah. I was in tears by the time I dropped Noah off at my mom's, and by the time I made it to work, my Aunt Georgia had already called my mom gravely concerned. I was sent home from work after just a few hours, with a heating blanket and a heat wrap. (Thanks again, mom.) I've been in total misery ever since.

In between those two stellar experiences, I went see my new OBGYN (Dr. Kelvie) for my lab results. Not only am I not pregnant, but my progesterone levels are pathetic. I learned that the fertility docs like progesterone to be at 20, Dr. Kelvie prefers at least 10..... my progesterone level is at 3. 3?! That's barely existing! I'm basically on hormone life support. Just barely making it. Ugh.

So, I left her office with a prescription for Chlomid. Which I was supposed to take ASAP, since that day (Wednesday) was the fifth day of my cycle, which is the last possible day to being the 5 day treatment.

I filled the prescription, but I didn't take it.

I froze, I panicked. Isn't this what I wanted? Why am I now all the sudden so petrified of being pregnant? In the midst of all this panic, I called my step-mom Amelia. Her words of comfort were simple but true, she simply said "If you aren't sure, don't take it." Simple, I know, but I just needed someone else to tell me that it was ok if I didn't take it. Just one week prior I was flipping out about not knowing if I was pregnant or not.

I was supposed to drive up to Hollywood today to spend the day with Amelia, she makes an excellent sounding board for all the craziness in my head. However, this annoying back pain that just won't quite has kept me sidelined for yet another day.

So, my plan for now is this: one more month. I need at least one more month to sort through my head, and then if everything is crystal clear, I'll start the Chlomid. For now, I just need time.

Today has been, well, it's been today. I have a meeting with the powers that be tomorrow, and I'm always a tightly bound ball of nerves leading up to these meetings. It's days like this that make me wish I didn't love my job, that make me wish I could just walk away and never look back. I can't just walk away, instead I deal with the rotating feelings of guilt and contentment. I've been rather unavailable to Boyzilla this past week, at one point only seeing him a total of 4 hours in two days. Even though I know it's because I've been preparing for this meeting, I still feel mountains of guilt. I miss my little boy.

Speak of the little monster... here he is, not even 5 mintutes ago, terrorizing the bookshelf. He insisted on putting the books into the hamper with his clean laundry. Oh, and ignore the mess, I'll pick it up later ;).

Now I'm off for some much needed play time with my little trouble maker.

Red Wine and Birthday Wishes

I've had the most amazing two day long birthday!! It was actually yesterday, but we didn't celebrate with the whole family until tonight, and it was marvelous! My dad and Amelia are in town, staying in the guest room. (Which we have named "Casita de Long Beach." We're cheesy like that.) We also had my mom, Dennis, Kristen, Jon, Jim, Krista and her parents over. Krista's parents had never met Dad and Amelia, so it was a nice gathering of the two families that are being merged by marriage. :o)

I absolutely love having people over. Whenever Alex and I look at houses, we always look at it's ability to host gatherings and parties. I'm a social butterfly, and love being the hostess. Good friends and good wine and two of my most favorite things, especially when paired together!

Boyzilla, of course, loved all the attention he was getting tonight. He found great pleasure in spinning in circles and then clapping wildly until everyone else was clapping as well. He also loved the vegan chocolate cake that Grandma Amelia made. He would take forever to chew it, he just wanted to let it sit there in his mouth. He's mommy's little hog. =D


Now it is time for me to finish my Yellow Tail Shiraz and go to bed. My feet hurt sooo bad! Somehow I thought wearing heals would be a swell idea tonight.

Life and all that entails..

This week is crazy! The end of the month is always madness around here. I'm working 4 days this week, getting home after 6 each day. Thankfully Superdad gets off work at 3:30, so he picks up Boyzilla by 4 from my aunt. Boyzilla is always so excited to see Superdad. :-) I'm so happy I don't work full time at the office, I can't imagine doing this juggling act 5 days a week.


Speaking of the office... I am now the proud owner of my own office! Woo hoo! As of last week, I finally have my own office, with a door, that I can shut, when I need to.be.left.alone. I used to have this huge open space that consisted of two real walls and lots of cubicle walls, but it was far from an actual office. The office I now reside in was used to hold all of our office supplies, on shelves made of scaffold. (OSHA violation anyone?) It's also where the lady who does payroll sat. Well, she's moving to Texas, and when I asked if I could have her office when she left, my boss liked the idea so much he had us switch the next day. The office supplies are now in the supply closet, and the scaffold is back where it belongs, outdoors. The walls are bare for now, I haven't had time to look for pictures to put up, but I am so loving my own office. Now I don't have to sit with my finger pressed to my ear when I'm on the phone, I can actually hear people! I also feel super productive, something about having my own office makes me want to work even more. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like I get more done when I'm there. I don't have a moment to spare, since I'm only there 2-3 days a week. There's only so much I can do at home away from all the project files.


Boyzilla is afraid of the potty. When he was a few months old, I had this lovely vision in my head of him being potty trained by 18 months. Now, I'm praying he's potty trained by 2 1/2, 3 at the latest! I think I'll mosey on down to Borders this weekend and pick up a book or two on potty training. Everything I find on-line doesn't seem to work with him!


Well, off to do some cleaning and put Boyzilla to bed. He's laying on the floor on his blankie, sucking his thumb.